Today is My Mother’s Birthday, and I take this opportunity and this day of 2nd September 2020 to thank my mother, Mrs. Rekha Asthana @ Rekha Srivastav; who has led by example to teach me the true meaning of contentment and the happiness that comes along with it.
Living the six decades of her life successfully, I see her being happy and contented with what she has in her life. I would like to correlate here with one of the yogic principles from the second limb of yoga, the Niyamas which are the virtuous habits or the observances (the Do’s) – And It is SANTOSHA – which means contentment, satisfaction, acceptance of others, acceptance of one’s circumstance as they are to get past them, optimism for self.
Sometimes as her daughter, when I became financially independent, and I could give her so much, she would always say that she doesn’t need anything in life, all she wishes is that everyone is happy and peaceful. At times, I would wonder that even though I can buy so many things, she is unwilling to accept it. So I started gifting her stuff without asking her; it was so much so that we planned her 60th birthday party last year without asking if she would want us to do it or not because I very well knew the answer would have been a BIG NO. I would share some pictures of that party that we threw to pay a time-honored ode to a beautiful person, a devoted wife, a loving mother, and an adorable grandmother.
I feel blessed and proud that she is my mother, from whom I have a lot to learn and a lot to imbibe, I think that I had been leading a shallow life for the past three decades, and off lately, I have begun my journey to follow her footsteps bit by bit. I am trying to imbibe the values carried by her in my life, but how soon I will reach her level is a complicated answer to give right now.
There are times when I will be so occupied with the work that I don’t pick up her calls, and at times I have a conversation for 20 seconds, where she would just give me her blessings and then we would disconnect the phone, but I don’t see her getting angry or annoyed any single time. All she does is shower her blessings for my family and me. At times, and during my pregnancy when she took care of me, I would get so irritable and be rude to her, but all she would do is bestow her love and kindness towards me. I seek your forgiveness mom, for being such a brat. The level of tolerance and patience that she has is mind-blowing. I guess that is a quality of a highly pure soul because even as a mother, I get annoyed when my son doesn’t talk to me or behaves rudely with me.
I genuinely wish that I am able to instill these similar values in my little ones and me.
“Being satisfied with what you have in your life is the biggest gift you can give yourself, as this way, you are gifting yourself the true happiness in life.”
The definition of happiness in our life is very different; we feel happy when someone says something good to us, or good about us, when we get financial gains, when we buy a new house, a new pair of clothes, the latest smartphones, or a new car, etc. The happiness now days is characterized by the joy that we feel upon attaining worldly pleasures and gains. We need to ask ourselves a question: Is it happiness in the real sense, or is it just making us lead such a shallow life that diving deeper doesn’t remain an option anymore?
Roy Baumeister writes about happiness as something that gets in the way of a meaningful life. Happiness is about decreasing stress and conflict and taking rather than giving. In a forthcoming paper about the difference between a happy life and a meaningful life the author writes:-
“Happiness without meaning characterizes a relatively shallow self-absorbed or even selfish life in which things go well, needs and are easily satisfied, and difficult or taxing entanglements are avoided.”
In the end, I would like to clarify here that by being satisfied, I don’t mean you stop striving for a better life or a better home or a better job. But first, you need to be happy with what you have currently, and with an open and balanced mindset, one should move forward while doing your karma with honesty. During this journey, one should also ensure that your hunger to do more or achieve more should not convert into a thirst. And one should put his/ her best foot forward but without any ill feelings towards anyone or anything.
As Mrs. F says: “Root them out, get them gone. All the little bunnies in the fields of corn. Envy, Jealousy, Malice, Pride, they must never in my heart abide”.
A simple example of that would be – ‘Oh my, She has a big beautiful house, it is just like a mansion. Admiring it is absolutely fine. I wish I could have it, aspiring for it is also fine, but the moment you start feeling jealous of her is where the problem begins.’
Love & Regards
Neha Asthana Meena
The Perspective of a New Age Yogin